It ain't easy bein' green

BY MICHAEL STRANGE

At Polly Kraft's intimate cocktail party for Andrew Cockburn's new book on Donald Rumsfeld, one of Georgetown's more passionate fashion forward A-listers cornered me in the art-filled foyer, wanting to know a most private personal detail.

"Are you green?" she asked earnestly. I regarded my glass of white wine, nibbled a deviled egg, determined I'm not given to jealousy or envy, and said, "If by green you mean the stuff that lives in banks, then yes, I am very green." What she wanted to know, of course, was whether I had become a tree-hugger. Before I could defend my greendentials, she was onto Sidney Blumenthal, who stopped in mid-Hillary soliloquy to swear, right-hand raised, he was green before green was cool.

Dear me, is this how it's going to be from now on? There has been a post-Al Gorewinning- his-Oscar social climate change and it's got the media, and this town, on an environmental high. My friends can't get green fast enough. Entire households are being rethought and, in some cases, redone to meet the new standard of relevance.

The green thing may be the blow that finally forces the haves to have less. But can the overpaid give up the staples of their success: fleets of gas-guzzling luxury vehicles, bottled water, lighted tennis courts, heated swimming pools, chemically-enhanced lawns and gardens (hair and faces, too), and houses so big they use as much energy as a moderate-sized apartment building? Dare I mention the family jet, which happens to be so dear to my heart and lifestyle? Am I prepared to take a gamble on a commercial flight? Would I risk being held captive by Jet Blue?

Don't dismiss the importance of the green movement on your social life. It is the new having babies, a way to get invited to parties that you otherwise would have missed, and to meet the new powerful people. Don't think it went unnoticed here that it was a documentary about the environment that got Al and Tipper invited to the post-Oscars Vanity Fair party, and not his 8 years as vice president.

In Hollywood terms, he's a comeback kid, but in Washington he's still Al Gore. Mr. Strange, who has achieved longevity here through usefulness to both parties, has no illusions about the Gore moment. He sees Al's future this way: Mr. Environment, yes; Mr. President, no.

"DON'T THINK IT WENT UNNOTICED HERE THAT IT WAS A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT THAT GOT AL AND TIPPER INVITED TO THE POST-OSCAR VANITY FAIR PARTY, AND NOT HIS 8 YEARS AS VICE PRESIDENT "

Saving the environment has no down side, but Kermit had it right: it ain't easy bein' green. To be seriously green requires not only sacrifice but also to learn a few things about how the planet works and the ways in which humans lay waste to natural resources. It's not enough anymore to have clever cocktail conversation about whether it will be Hillary or Barack and that you like John McCain but just don't understand him. You must be able to break down BTU's and LED's, and intelligently debate the scientific and political discrepancies of global warming and carbon emissions trading.

Green has upsides, though, beyond saving the planet. Consider all the celebrities who will flock to your party if you're raising money for Mother Earth? Al Gore's July 7 environmental rock concert will have, among a hundred other acts, the Police and a possible reunion of Pink Floyd. Being in Al's entourage could be the new Entourage. Then there's hemp and organic clothing, so much cheaper than Marc Jacobs and Prada. Green even has sex guidelines. This made me laugh because while the movement favors reuse of almost everything, the sports at treehugger. com, in their Top Ten tips on how to "green your sex life," advised "that recycling just doesn't apply when it comes to rubbers." That's a relief.

But here's the issue behind the issue: What about the old-school green, because it takes green to be green. The pols I know, while delighted they can say the word "green" without prompting nearly everyone to hide their wallets, also don't want to see those critical funds hijacked by fair trade food fiends. Which doesn't mean profit for all isn't part of the equation. "Green is good," a venerable lobbyist announced in a swanky D.C. eatery as he adjusted to having an after dinner cognac without the Cohiba. "Green is going to make a lot of us a lot of money." God Bless America.